


your whisper in my compass

by InfiniteWoonique



Series: Knocked Up [5]
Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Bottom Choi San, Business Trip, Children, Christmas, Comfort, Confusion, Domestic Fluff, Family, Family Dynamics, Family Feels, Family Fluff, M/M, Mentioned Jeong Yunho/Song Mingi, Mentioned Son Dongju | Xion, Mentioned Son Dongmyeong, Mpreg, Pining, Pregnant Choi San, Slice of Life, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Top Jung Wooyoung, Twins, kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-15
Updated: 2019-12-15
Packaged: 2021-02-26 07:21:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,857
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21799801
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InfiniteWoonique/pseuds/InfiniteWoonique
Summary: Wooyoung goes on a business trip and San is left with their twins at home and he is stressed beyond belief, but maybe there was more to it than he was letting on
Relationships: Choi San/Jung Wooyoung
Series: Knocked Up [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1594903
Comments: 11
Kudos: 159





	your whisper in my compass

“First one done,” San sighed in satisfaction as he finished his first box that was full of pictures and picture frames, managing just barely to fit everything in one large box. Wooyoung liked to take pictures and that was evident by how many they had hanging around the house and the number of photobooks they had on their shelves. He would need to move the box to their small sitting room by the front door, but that was the extent of the packing that was done and San was pretty proud of himself so far. He had some time to pack all their belongings before they would have to rent a moving truck and move everything to their new house that hadn't even been bought yet. They had a few months to do so but they were hoping to find a house within the month just so they could get a head start and settle down in their first house together. They were upgrading from an apartment to a house, but they had to build up to that still. 

San was currently packing away the things they didn't need or use every day, and the books in their small office that were read years ago and now sat collecting dust were next. San had an extensive book collection and most of the shelves stacked were all his since he had such an affinity to reading. He was regretting spending so much time and money on extending it at the moment with the thought that he had to take a few out at a time and stack them neatly into more boxes awaiting his attention. It would be hell to pack them away, but at least they had a good three months before they had to move and he had Wooyoung to help him pack everything up. Not today though, or the rest of the week because Wooyoung was gone for the time being. 

Wooyoung was a patissier for a local bakery in town and due to his pure passion to create new and exciting treats and their extraordinary quality, he was given a job offer up in Seoul with the promise of working for a high-end restaurant. He had accepted it, a good salary lined up and a promising career that would be long-lasting, a guarantee he couldn't pass when he had two children and a husband at home. Upon accepting the offer he was invited to run a trial week to get a feel for the dynamic of the workplace and as a short training for what he was supposed to expect when he was full time. Wooyoung tried to turn it down at first but San insisted he go and take a look. He would regret it otherwise. 

The trip was entirely paid for and paid work and he would be doing bundles of paperwork to confirm his employment with the new company. It was an intense process to attend to and due to the new job and relocation, they would, of course, need to move from their humble apartment in Gyeongsan and to a house in Seoul. This left San and their almost three-year-old fraternal twin sons behind for a week. 

They had no house picked out yet but they were going to look around within the next few weeks and hopefully settle on something they liked. They were supposed to be moving into some house before December when Wooyoung was going to be a full-time chef and they had a home purchase agreement already signed. They had plenty of time to figure that out. 

Wooyoung had just left yesterday and San knew that the younger was going to have a good time out in Seoul doing what he loves, but San already missed him so much. 

And it was obvious that their sons did, too. It had been hard to adjust to at the beginning, evident by the way Dongju first reacted to his father’s absence. It started the first morning that Wooyoung was gone. He had behaved fairly well the first night Wooyoung wasn’t there and had gone to bed easily with a goodnight kiss for San and even his brother Dongmyung who wasn’t near as snuggly as Dongju was. He was perfectly fine and hadn’t had an issue before. 

It was in the morning when he finally threw a fit at not having his father home with them. Wooyoung never worked early in the mornings and was always awake to make his sons breakfast while he let San sleep in. He spent the whole day with their energetic and young children so he deserved the sleep, especially when Dongmyung liked to stir trouble sometime in the night that San always tended to. San did the most for their family and Wooyoung appreciated it so much, loving everything about his husband. He was so thankful for him. San deserves the extra half hour of sleep, sometimes if he’s lucky, a full hour. 

And then to not have Wooyoung home to wake up, it had thrown Dongju for a loop. It had been routine to crash into their parent’s room to wake Wooyoung up and start breakfast bright and early, but to find his mother sleeping in the bed alone with his father’s side still made was upsetting to him. Poor Dongju had forgotten that his father was out of town and the sudden change was a bit too overwhelming and left him feeling confused. 

Dongmyung was improvising and continued on his merry way onto the bed, crawling towards a still sleeping San to pat him awake. Before he could do so, Dongju interrupted him with a very hurt voice and a deep frown, “Papa’s gone! Why he gone?” his eyes were starting to water and with that came crying and his cries were very loud. He was such a sweet boy and the slightest inconvenience could have him in tears in seconds and this was no good for either Wooyoung or San. He wasn’t easily consolable and he required several kisses and plenty of hugs from both mom and dad before calming down. This time around, he had only mom to cry to. 

The distress in his voice was enough to have San stirring without Dongmyung having to wake him up. He hated when his babies cried for any reason, the sound hurting his heart and wanting to act immediately and resolve the issue. No matter how ridiculous. He jumped out of bed and bolted towards his crying son, stomach churning and nausea picking at his stomach. That had been pretty typical the last few weeks, ever since Wooyoung had told him about the trip and since he started planning for it. Stress did funny things to his body. 

“Hey hey, what’s wrong, Button?” San cooed, circling his arms around the little body in a warm embrace. Dongju was quick to hug back, wrapped his arms around San’s torso and resting his head on his mother’s shoulder. San felt his heart break as his son cried into his neck, “Button, can you tell me what’s wrong?” San tried again. 

“Papa’s gone,” he reminded San, moving one arm around the shoulder that wasn’t occupied by his head, “He’s not here to make breakfast and now we’ll be hungry,” he sniffled, thinking that this was the end of the world that his father wasn’t there to make breakfast. 

“I’m hungry!” Dongmyung offered, now beside San and his twin. He was on the floor on his knees and was patiently waiting for San to repair the situation. Dongmyung wasn’t going to stay so patient and he was soon going to get a bit more demanding. 

San chuckled, still groggy from the aftereffects of sleep, more at Dongju than Dongmyung, “Button, Mama is still here and I can make you breakfast still. I make your lunch and dinner, you don’t think I can make you breakfast?” 

“No!” Dongju sobbed, holding his mother a little tighter than he had before. The headache San was starting to gain was hurting at his temples, another something that had been bothering him for the past week. He was getting headache after headache.

“Mama, I’m hungry,” Dongmyung supplied again, now standing on his knees and getting closer to San, holding onto one arm and starting to bounce, “I want toast and cheese. And avocado!” that was one of his favorite foods and he ate maybe half an avocado every day due to his love for the fruit. 

“Mama can’t make breakfast,” Dongju sniffled, refusing to let go and adding insult to injury as though San was incapable of making food when he did every day, “Don’t know how.” 

“Baby, I do know how to make breakfast,” San informed as he turned to tell Dongmyung to wait just a little bit longer. His bouncing was becoming incessant and there was a frown on his face now, his attempt at patience humble albeit short-lived, “I made breakfast when you were little but Papa makes it now because he wakes up before me. I promise you with my whole heart that I can make breakfast,” with a crying toddler and one who was repeatedly asking for food, it was stressful and a bit overwhelming but something that San had to handle by himself. Once seeing Wooyoung’s courtesy as a blessing was now a curse as he found himself ill-prepared to handle this by himself again. How did Wooyoung do this every morning? “Do you believe me?” 

Dongju was slow to answer but he eventually did with a small nod buried into San’s neck. He was still sniffling and attempting to catch up to his air again, small chest gasping for air every now and then. 

"Can I get a kiss?" San asked gently, rubbing his son's back comfortingly as he eased his breathing. Dongju could never pass up on a kiss and instead of responding verbally, the young boy pulled his face out of his mother's neck and pursed his lips, eyes all red and puffy. San giggled at his son and leaned forward to place a chaste kiss on his oldest son's lips. Noticing the exchange, Dongmyung couldn't resist a kiss either and inserted himself in front of San who gave him a kiss as well, "Thank you so much, Dimples," he affectionately named, dedicated to the dimples he had inherited from his mother. Dongju didn't have dimples and instead looked a lot like Wooyoung did while Dongmyung looked a lot like San, "Should we go get breakfast now?" he asked, hoping and praying that Dongju didn't remember his last dilemma and start crying once more. To his luck, Dongju nodded and Dongmyung cheered. 

San had needed to carry Dongju to the kitchen even though he was fully capable of walking on his own and seeing that his twin was being held, Dongmyung demanded he be carried as well and so San had needed to struggle with both almost three-year-old twins in his arms into the kitchen. They were moving into a house when in Seoul and they were going to have stairs. That was going to be a little harder to do and San would need to stop carrying his sons whenever they wanted him to. He should have stopped long ago his mother had told him, but it was hard when he had two cuddly boys who loved their mother and father. 

The rest of the day had been far easier for Dongju since he spent most of his day with his mother anyway. San worked from home for a small company and he was more than thankful that they were willing to let him continue working with them through online options even when he's up in Seoul. At least until he found another job. He did bookkeeping and accounting and there was always a shortage in his department so work would come relatively easy. For now though, he was going to continue with his current job until he found a new one in Seoul. It would be hard to find a job when he was stuck at home with his twins. Wooyoung could provide for his family enough with his one job but San used his own work as a sort of escape to keep him from going insane with his twin boys at home. He loved his sons with all of his heart but babies and young children were a lot of work, and twins were a lot of money. They could use the extra income, especially later if the twins were to choose to go to college. That isn't cheap at all and they would need the money to get them through it. 

Anyways, the day went fairly smooth, Dongju getting upset for a few minutes when Wooyoung couldn't eat dinner with them that day, but that was something that happened often as well, and he responded the same way every time even when Wooyoung wasn't out in Seoul. San was able to calm him down and get him to eat his food which was easier than it was to get Dongmyung to finish his. Dongmyung was the pickiest eater out of the two and maybe the pickiest child San knew in general. He was the one that made it hard at dinner time and liked to play with his food rather than actually eat it. Food spent more time in his hands than in his mouth and while it was frustrating, San loved his son and was always willing to help and encourage him to eat, even if that meant his own dinner went cold in the process. San couldn't remember the last time he had eaten a hot meal that remained hot long enough for him to eat it while still hot. It was something he had adapted to and something that no longer bothered him. 

When bedtime came around, San was thankful that the boys had gone down fairly easily and it helped that they hadn't taken a nap during the day. The twins had been high energy and were running around all day with no signs of stopping. Refusing to nap was typical as well and San would handle the situation, but he had been too exhausted to climb that mountain. It was easier to play with them than wrangle them into their beds. He let the boys play all day and it was two hours before their scheduled bedtime that they started to slow down and get tired. San took his chance and changed them into their pajamas and nighttime pull-ups, since they hadn't yet advanced that far into potty training, and tucked them in with kisses on the cheeks. They would be up by six in the morning but he really didn't care. He was exhausted now and this was going to be the week's routine until Wooyoung came back, but he also supposed he should lose that habit if Wooyoung would need to leave earlier in the morning for his new job. He would worry about it later but right now, he had all the time in the world for himself and that was a rarity when he was a mother to three-year-old twins. 

Now alone for the time being, San was going to take some initiative for self-care and take a long and soothing bath, something he hadn't done in a very long time. Time for himself was rare and a luxury and with the kids out of his hair and asleep he was going to relax and not worry about anything and if he could, not think about anything at all. But he knew his thoughts would wander to Wooyoung eventually, it was just a matter of when he would. He would try not to and instead let his body melt into the water and not take responsibility for anything, not even his own emotions. 

Wrapped in his robe and locked in his bathroom, San turned on the hot water to the bathtub and waited for it to fully heat up, steam filling the room and warming his body. It was chilly in the house from the weather outside and the small, enclosed space was making him feel warm and safe, eyes closed to take in the tranquility he was feeling. Nothing about his life was ever tranquil, so he was soaking it up now while he could. The soft beats of the song he had put on to play rocking in the background, setting the tone for what he was trying to feel in the moment. When the mirror was entirely fogged up and steam was rolling through the vents, San finally shed his robe and dipped into the bath, sighing as he was engulfed by hot water. San really only ever had hot baths on nights like these. Other nights, he took mostly cold showers to save time so the boys weren’t without him for too long. Wooyoung was the same way, showering in the morning before he went to work. Twins were a lot of work. 

But it was his life. He was so used to all the noise and running around, everything that comes with young children, and to not have it now and then not have his louder than life husband with him was torturous. The silence was deafening and a moment before San was thinking that he should turn the music up or choose a more energetic song, his phone was ringing from its spot on the edge of the tub, vibrating a little too close to the edge and before it could take a plunge into the water, San grabbed it and glanced at the screen. It was Wooyoung and the smile that was now decorating San's face was blinding and still was when he answered. It was a video call and Wooyoung's face was soon filling his screen with that goofy grin and shining eyes. 

"Sannie!" Wooyoung shouted when he was met with his husband's face, already exaggerated features growing more so, "Sannie, Sannie, my other half, the love of my life! How are you doing?" that booming voice was all too cheerful and that was familiar with Wooyoung. He always spoke a little too louder than necessary and without thought, spewing whatever came to mind and no remorse for what was said. He was the way he was and San loved it immensely. 

Forgoing the question asked, San responded with a deep pout, "I miss you so much, Wooyoung. Skip the rest of the trip and come back home now," he was joking but a slight part of him wasn't. He wanted nothing more than to hold Wooyoung and kiss those plump lips that were now pursed in a stifled giggle. 

Wooyoung quickly gave up though as he snorted and laughed that high pitched laugh he always had, hitting San right in the chest where it hurt the most, "You know I can't do that, you'll just have to wait a little longer," he chuckled and moved so that he was lying down on his hotel bed, smile even goofier with the new angle, "What will a patient person receive?" he asked San with that knowing smile. 

San rolled his eyes in mock annoyance with an exaggerated groan but answered anyway with a muffled, "Blessings," something he had heard many times from his husband before. It was something his mother had beat into Wooyoung's head as a child and it was something that he was passing down to their own children. Dongju and Dongmyung were still too young to fully grasp the context of patience but it was indeed something they were going to have to improve on. Evident by this morning. 

"That's right, love," Wooyoung cooed, changing tactics once his jokes were done with and switching to his genuine concern for his husband, "How are you doing? The boys didn't give you a hard day did they?" he would ask where the boys were now but seeing that San was in the bath and it was fairly quiet, he would guess they were in bed already. 

San sighed, recalling that morning, "Dongju had a bad morning. He was so sad that you weren't there and genuinely didn't think I knew how to make breakfast food," thinking back now, it was funny and he laughed to himself, humor increasing as Wooyoung started to laugh, sounding like a hyena, "He cried about it! And Dongmyung just wanted to eat and was pestering me about it and, oh Wooyoung, it was a disaster," a hand came out of the water to rub at his forehead, the stress of the memory tingling in his brain. 

"It's just been a while. He was panicking, you know how he is," Wooyoung assured and this was true. Out of both twins, Dongju was the most nervous and worried over the little things. They were hoping it wasn't something that would develop over time and was instead something his mind manifested as it learned daily. He didn't have to be so anxious about everything, "And Dongmyung just likes to eat avocado. He gets so excited just thinking about it,” Dongmyung had eaten another avocado for dinner after San told him to eat some rice and meat first. He only ate that to get his precious fruit and San was only mildly annoyed, expecting the outcome anyway. He was sure a child couldn’t live off of just avocado, but here his son was beating the odds, “Don’t worry too much about it.” 

“I’ll try not to,” San sighed, sinking further into the bathtub so the water went up to his chin. The warmth was so cozy and he felt like he could fall asleep right there. Exhaustion had been very prominent recently and he was sure it was the stress of moving, packing, and Wooyoung in the process of getting a new job. There was a lot happening and change was a scary thing, “But I have to keep him alive somehow.”

Wooyoung hummed, “I think you’re doing a pretty good job. They’ve lived this long and God knows it was you doing most of the work.”

“Most of the work. You helped too, I guess,” San reminded with a smirk before changing directions, “You do so much for them, give yourself more credit. You make them breakfast every day and you do it so often they think I don’t know how to cook breakfast,” he reminded, suddenly feeling a bit too warm in his bath. He cleared his throat to flush the sick feeling out of it but it just made it worse. His brows furrowed and a frown made its way onto his features, maybe even a groan as he shifted in the bath, an ache in his neck and back making his expression worse. He'd felt this way for a week but it was only getting progressively worse. 

Wooyoung was quick to notice, always attentive and observant, “Are you okay?” there was obvious concern laced in that statement and San didn’t want to worry him, especially when he was so far away. Knowing Wooyoung, he would panic and cut his trip short claiming he had a family emergency to attend to. San was probably too warm and needed to drink more water. He wasn't sure if he had managed to do even that today.

“I’m okay,” he answered with a nod of his head, adding one of his award-winning smiles for good measure, "Just tired. I need to go to bed soon."

"I would say it's too early but you'll need your rest for tomorrow. It won't be any easier to handle the boys since you're by yourself."

"It will be better tomorrow because Mingi and Yunho will be here," he reminded, having scheduled their visit while Wooyoung had been in the room, "It's been a while and from what I've heard their daughter is pretty antsy and has been begging her parents to stop by and play with her oppas," Daeun was only a few months younger than the twins but she insisted on calling them oppa, "They'll be here pretty much all day and so they'll help out. And I wanted them here before it gets too busy, and this weekend was the perfect one to have them come over," the thought had him frowning, leaving behind his best friends to move North. They were the reason the pair had moved out here, to be closer to them. And then they both had children and it got complicated. They can't move now with a daughter, it would be too much of a hassle. It was already a hassle for San and he had two small boys to handle, "I'm going to miss them." 

"Me too," Wooyoung admitted with his own frown to match San's. He'd given that same frown when he heard his friends were going to be in his house when he wasn't going to be there with them, "But we can always visit. We can take the train down and visit for a weekend, or they come up to Seoul. We can call them too, we won't be saying goodbye. It's more like 'see you later'. Okay?" 

San smiled because Wooyoung was trying so hard, but he did have a good point, "Stop being smart, it doesn't suit you," San's statement and expression was enough to send him into a fit of laughs, warming San's heart to join in the laughing as well.

A good half hour passed before San needed to get out, the bath growing too cold to sit in much longer. They continued, Wooyoung whistling every time he saw a little more than San's chest as he dressed in pajama bottoms and a large t-shirt, courtesy of Wooyoung. The slightly younger thought about teasing him for it, but seeing how content San was, he thought it best to not say anything to annoy him.

Another hour and Wooyoung was considering ending the call, not that he wanted to. He could talk to San for hours about nothing and everything, but San needed the sleep and he was the one keeping him from doing so. Saying so, San would complain and whine and Wooyoung couldn't end their call like that. He quickly came up with an excuse and spoke up when San yawned, "I should go to sleep baby, I have to start an early shift tomorrow and I need the sleep. Can't show up exhausted when I have to be on my best behavior."

San pouted but understood. This was an important trip and Wooyoung needed to tend to himself even when San knew he would throw everything away for him, "Okay, I love you," San wished, placing a quick kiss to the camera and watching as Wooyoung did the same.

"I love you too, Sannie. Good night, love."

"Goodnight," San wished, feeling his heart grow heavy as he ended the call. Not being able to talk to his husband as much as he wanted was disappointing, but he would need to give him a break or he would grow sick of him. He was sure of it. He placed his phone on the nightstand after plugging it in and turned onto his side, burying his nose into Wooyoung's pillow so he could fall asleep smelling him. San wasn't sure if he had done so, but he remembered smiling into the soft material before settling in fully and letting his consciousness slip into the dark.

————

In the morning, Dongju handled his father's absence much better but didn't go without an upset frown marring his face the first hour. A permanent pout found its way onto his lips, looking so much like Wooyoung’s, and San made sure to kiss it away as much as he could when he wasn't occupied with his other son or something else, making sure to kiss Dongmyung as well when he asked for kisses too. It may be obvious which parent was each twin's favorite, but San was playing both roles and the boys still loved him immensely. He would need to brag to Wooyoung about it later over their next call.

After breakfast, they busied themselves with cleaning up the living room and the boys' room to ready for their friends visiting, arranging everything to make it look like they had a handle on their life. One of the most difficult challenges of packing things away to move was the fact that his children wanted to rip everything already packed out to show Daeun, even when they hadn't touched them in a very long time. The photobooks San had already packed away were promptly removed so the twins could show Daeun their baby pictures. It was Dongmyung who had snuck behind San's back to grab the biggest photo book they had with leather binding and run to hide by the piano, hoping to hide the book in the piano bench without San noticing. But he had and San had to intervene, "Dongmyung, Daeun has already seen your baby pictures, you don't need to show her again," while San often came back to the photobooks and looked through them himself, Daeun wasn't as involved in the imagery as an adult would be. She would lose interest and insist they go play and the book would be thrown on the floor, forgotten and likely to be in harm's way. It had happened many times before, evident by the bent corners of the pages.

"But Daeunnie forgot what we look like," Dongmyung defended his actions, holding the photobook to his chest to keep it in his safety. He adored looking back on old pictures and seeing how 'little' he was. But to San, he was still little and always would be. Receiving a reminder that his twins were growing up always hurt San's heart, "I want to show her again so she'll remember.”

San couldn't argue with that, especially with how insistent and cute his son was, "But Mama has to pack," San retaliated, patiently holding his hand out for the photobook, "She can look at them next time okay? For now, we need to clean up so we can move houses," he reminded, something that was still a bit hard for Dongmyung to understand, and it was always easier when he didn't understand the full details and continued in childlike bliss. It made San's heart ache to promise next time because he wasn't sure when that would be. San was rolling through loads of emotion today already and he didn’t know why, maybe due to stress and his lack of control over the situation, "And we need it even cleaner for when Daeun and uncles Mingi and Yunho come here."

Dongmyung huffed and glared, scarily looking just like San. San mirrored with his own frown, more menacing than his son's, and Dongmyung received the message within a few seconds as his stance weakened and his features softened. He handed the book back to his mother with eyes lowered so he didn't have to make eye contact and San smiled in relief that Dongmyung was so quick to listen. His son was a good listener sometimes, "Thank you, Dimples. I appreciate it," even though he had been reprimanded, Dongmyung still asked for a kiss by puckering his lips and San was not one to turn that down, happily returning it with enthusiasm. San had to put his foot down as the mother so his children would learn obedience. San would prefer they learn and not associate demand with anger but they really needed to clean up for their friends and San was losing a bit of his patience. He wanted the illusion that he had his life together when Mingi and Yunho were so organized in their own home, yet it was easier for them since they had one child and she was so well behaved.

Speaking of whom, there was a knock at the door and Dongmyung was excitedly gasping and running towards the front door with Dongju in tow, photobook forgotten in San's hands. They had been taught to not open the door by themselves and instead to grab San or Wooyoung to answer it for them for fear of the twins letting a stranger inside, but San knew who was coming and so did the boys so he had no qualms about it. but he did make sure to tell them to, "Slow down! Wait for Mama!"

They were early, typical, and the house was still a war zone with obstacles that San hated seeing piled up on his floor. San was already feeling embarrassed but there wasn't much he could tidy now that his friends were literally at the door. He placed the photo book back in its box and walked towards the front door, picking up and tossing a few stray shoes onto the shoe rack before finally opening the door to let the Jung-Song family in. He was sure Dongju would open it before he showed up but he had surprisingly waited, "Thank you for being patient," San praised, running his hands through his son's hair that was starting to hang in his eyes. He wasn't a fan of haircuts and so it was hard to get him to sit still long enough to get one. San would schedule an appointment when Wooyoung was back so he had two sets of eyes and hands on their twins. Dongmyung would need a haircut too.

San took a deep sigh and opened the door, letting his long-time friends in with a large and genuine smile. Dongju and Dongmyung were cheering as their uncles walked in, followed by a very enthusiastic Daeun who was ready to see her best friends. Much to San's pleasure, neither Mingi nor Yunho paid mind to the mess that was still in the entryway, not really caring if the place was neat for them since they were there to visit their favorite family. Hugs were exchanged immediately among everyone, Daeun starting with the twins while Mingi and Yunho hugged San. But before San could greet Daeun or Mingi and Yunho could greet the twins, Dongju was quick to speak up, "We're going to play now!" he gave no time for a response before he was running off with Dongmyung and Daeun to play, leaving the adults to themselves.

"She's getting so big," San spoke, amazed at how tall Daeun was now since the last month he had seen her, "How did that happen? She’s at least an inch taller," he was maybe exaggerating but after not seeing them for so long, he felt like there was a huge change, especially since children grow so fast. His own twins were growing right before his eyes.

“Right? She’s growing like a weed and I hate it,” Mingi pouted, “I want her to stay little forever and to not grow up so fast. I’ll cry the day when she doesn’t want me to hold her in my arms, and also the day when she can’t fit in my arms. I’ll be an emotional wreck,” he pouted, a typical reaction he had when things didn’t go his way. Mingi's pouts were trademarked since he did it so often and it was something San had missed. It had been far too long without a visit.

“It’s been a long three years,” Yunho uttered with a laugh, teeth on full display in the wide mouthed laugh he always did. It was incredibly distinct when he laughed and it was something Mingi had fallen for when they first met, "Constantly saying how big she is and how much he hates it," Yunho was excited for her to be so big, it meant he could really play with her and show her how good of a father he was, really get to know her. He loved Daeun so much and her growing up was even better than when she was a baby. 

“It’s a mother thing,” San joked because he couldn’t deny that he felt the same exact way. He wanted his boys to stay little forever and never grow up, “We want them to stay little and cute and for them to love us unconditionally. When they get older, they’re a little more difficult.”

“You win some, you lose some. Daeun woke up at five this morning. I can’t wait for the days where she actually sleeps in until noon,” Mingi snorted and San couldn’t deny that he wanted those days to come faster, too. There was a lot he wanted but he couldn’t have any of it and he would rather have his boys now than those moments now, "We've still got a few years until then, but for now, we have to deal with their shenanigans and we can prepare ourselves for teenage shenanigans," the worst kinds of shenanigans.

He had only been standing for a minute when San was hit with a wave of fatigue that left him wanting to drop and lay down there, but that wouldn't be good to do when he had guests over. He had to say something or he was going to fall asleep standing up. 

“Let’s sit, I’m tired and my body is sore,” San groaned, walking towards the couch in the living room without more comment. He wasn’t sure why he was so sore, but the fatigue had an explanation. His sons were two handfuls and Dongmyung had woken up twice in the night and Dongju was close to follow, wanting to join the party. San had needed to sing a selection of songs to lull them back to bed, but it did work. Unfortunately, this left San with less sleep than he had wanted or needed in the end. Dongmyung wasn't one to wake up in the night often, but he was acting out this week since his father wasn't there and a change like that called for him to try new things, it's how it always was. San had gone on his own business trip once and he had been gone for only a night and returning home the next day, Wooyoung relayed to him how both Dongmyung and Dongju had acted as though they had authority in the house rather than their father and had wreaked havoc. They had similar reactions both times and San figured they should avoid doing these in the future anymore. 

"You're getting old," Mingi joked as he followed behind his friend. He was the youngest of them all by only months and playing that card was useless but it was all in good fun.

"Shut up," San scoffed, throwing a quick glance around himself to make sure none of the children were close by. It wasn't a bad word but it still wasn't nice and San would die if his sons started preschool and they told one of their classmates to 'shut up'.

"I don't know about you but I think sitting down sounds like a good idea," Yunho agreed with the idea while laughing at his boyfriend's expense, heading towards the couch in the living room. Mingi chose the seat next to him while San took the recliner, lifting the footrest and laying back shamelessly so he could stretch out while having the excuse to. He really needed to lay down and try to ward off whatever was happening to his body or he was going to have a hard day. Yunho spoke up before they even settled fully in their seats, eager to speak to one of his best friends that he hadn't seen in a while, "How has it been with Wooyoung gone?"

San sighed with a pout, "I miss him a lot," he cuddled the pillow that usually sat in the recliner to his chest, deriving comfort from it and finding that it helped his relax further, "He hasn't even been gone long and I want him back now. We talked on the phone last night and he looks like he's having way too much fun without me."

"He is doing what he loves," Mingi reminded with a smug smile. The recliner San was sitting in was close to the couch, close enough for San to reach out and hit his friend but he wasn't going to do that because Mingi was right, "I assume he's having the time of his life, but we all know how whipped he is for you and your boys. He's probably just as miserable as you are right now."

"I am not miserable," San corrected with emphasis, sitting up to further sell the lie he was spewing, yet doing so had his head spinning and he soon had to sit back and relax against his chair again, "I'm doing pretty great actually, it's the boys who are having a hard time. You should have seen them yesterday," granted it had been a good ten minutes of Dongju crying. The twins had been wonderful for the rest of the day and it had been San the whole time who had been having a hard time, that was fact. But Mingi and Yunho hadn't seen what had transpired, they didn't know. 

San's two guests both hummed in tune to what communicated that they didn't believe him at all, not one bit, but they were moving on because if prompted this could go on and on. It was Yunho who changed the topic to spare their friendship and spoke up, "Daeun has been so excited for this day, she hasn't stopped talking about it since we told her," his statement was perfectly timed with a joyful yell coming from down the hall where Dongju and Dongmyung's room was. It was Daeun's, easily distinguishable after having heard that same scream for years.

"Since _you_ told her," Mingi corrected, "I wasn't going to mention it until this morning but you got so excited and decided to tell her days in advance and knowing that she was going to visit Oppa's house, she had to remind us that we were going to their house just about every other minute," it was all she would talk about and as her parents, they were happy to listen but hearing about it over and over again was nearly frustrating, "The first thing I heard this morning was that we were going to Uncle Sannie and Uncle Wooyoungie's house to see Dongju oppa and Dongmyung oppa and I'm so glad we started the drive here. The only thing we heard after that was _'are we there yet?'_ and it was a nice change of pace even though that was annoying to hear as well."

Yunho and Mingi bantered back and forth for a few more sentences and San listened with a small smile on his face and an occasional laugh slipping past his lips, amused with his friends and their relationship. It was a lot like how he and Wooyoung liked to tease each other, all in good fun and so much love behind it all, no bite and no harm. It wasn't until the twins and Daeun were running into the room that they stopped with Dongju begging for Yunho to do his best and biggest talent as far as the young ones were concerned. His Spongebob impression.

"Do Spongebob, Daddy!" Daeun yelled, hopping in front of her father with her hands on his knees as she used them as leverage to lift herself up and down. Dongju and Dongmyung were close behind with the same enthusiasm and excitement, voices louder than necessary but appropriate for young children their age when this excited. Yunho laughed because he knew how much the twins and his daughter loved it, promptly readying his voice before very loudly introducing himself as Spongebob. Instant squeals of joy followed and as the kids asked him to say words and phrases that they wanted. It only grew louder as Yunho matched the kid's voices so they could all hear. Mingi's laughter joined at the ridiculousness of his boyfriend and the kids, wondering how they got to this point. They were all so happy and bubbly, enjoying themselves.

The only one not enjoying himself was San and that was because he was getting a headache, and a nasty one at that. His head was throbbing and it was no the worst when he was supposed to be having fun with his friends. Every voice was loud and it was really starting to ache, but he couldn't tell them to be quiet. They were having fun and enjoying themselves and he was the one who was having a hard time. It wouldn't be fair and it would be rude towards his guests, his best friends. He tried to hide away his discomfort but a rather loud yell coming from Dongmyung after Yunho said a potty joke in his Spongebob voice rang in his ears and it made his headache exponentially worse. He groaned a bit louder than he thought and it caught the attention of Mingi and Yunho. Yunho paid less attention to it since he was occupied with the children but there was a concerned glint in his eyes.

But Mingi, processing how miserable San looked with one glance shooed the kids away good-heartedly, "Why don't you go to the boy's room and play so the adults can talk about adult things?" his eyes darted between the kids, watching as they all nodded in agreement, wordlessly turning and running away. Not so much wordlessly though since they started yelling as soon as their backs were turned. When they were gone, Mingi turned back to San, "Are you alright? You look dreadful."

He was stating fact and San knew he couldn't deny it. There would be no point and these two knew him like the backs of their hands. They could spot a lie from a mile away, so he had to tell the truth or he would be pestered to no end, "I have a headache right now," he sighed deeply, getting it all out of his lungs, "But that's not even a fourth of what's I've been dealing with. Because of all this stress of moving and Wooyoung's new job and organizing school and my job, I'm exhausted, nauseous, sore, I get nerves, and my skin, do you see this," he pointed at his face to where he knew was an acne spot. He had noticed it that morning and there was a nice and big one right on his cheek, "It's awful."

"It's not that bad," Yunho spoke, really not even noticing it. San's skin was pretty good, that was a fact, but his current breakout barely affected it at all, "Didn't even notice."

"Just let me complain, I need someone to listen to me," San directed a pointed look at his friend, "I can't tell my kids and I can't tell Wooyoung. He'd get worried and come home and he can't do that."

"So we're the victims," Yunho asked with a smile, "You have to tell us how you're feeling? We'll have to charge you for this therapy."

"I'm not going to let it fester until it's so bad that I break down," he had done it before. His college days were pretty bad, "I need someone to listen to me. You two fit the bill, and you're a lot cheaper than therapy," San chuckled, happy to see he got one out of Yunho. San glanced over at Mingi, expecting to see a smile, but he instead found him focused, eyes squinted at San in thought. San quirked his eyebrow, wondering why his friend was so out of character, "You okay?" San asked, getting a but antsy under Mingi's gaze.

It sounded so familiar to Mingi and he couldn't help but ask, “Could you be pregnant?”

The anxiety that spiked in San's lower belly made his heart race, but he was sure he wasn't, “Don’t even joke about that. We don’t have the time for another baby. The twins are hard as is," all the moving and job changes and the twins, there was no way he was. And he was sure he and Wooyoung had been so careful, not ready at all for another kid. They weren't even sure if they were going to have a third baby, finding that two were enough. Their image of their future had always stopped at two kids, "There's no way."

"There is a way," Yunho corrected and was starting to see sense in Mingi's statemen, sure that Mingi was onto something, “It doesn’t hurt to check. It sounds a lot like you’re pregnant, not just stressed. You rarely get like this when you’re stressed,” Yunho reminded, having known San for years and been through it all with him. His stress was always the same, similar symptoms and ticks that were manifested whenever things were getting to be too much. Wedding planning hadn’t been like this and San has been stressed out of his mind, when his grandmother was in the hospital, he had been stressed but not like this. Besides, his symptoms were the opposite of what he was feeling now. Didn’t sleep, didn’t eat, couldn't socialize, too much to think about. Now though, he was exhausted, felt sick, was sore, and he was breaking out? All while still being able to socialize? That wasn't typical, "It sounds a lot like how you felt when you were pregnant with the twins. Scarily so," he reminded, having recalled how much San had dealt with. Mingi's own pregnancy paled in comparison.

"I can't be," San said, more to himself than to Yunho and Mingi, attempting to convince himself he wasn't but it was hard to deny when it made so much sense. He was definitely pregnant, "I can't."

"It's just a guess, but it really doesn't hurt to check," Mingi spoke, softly to not overwhelm him friend, "And if it turns out you are pregnant then that's great! It will be a nice little addition to your family. This isn't a bad thing."

It wasn't, but it also wasn't something they were prepared for. They were about to invest in their first house, about to move across the country, start a new life around people they weren't familiar with. How were they going to do that? San had no idea and between now and before they move, San would need to make an appointment to see his OB/GYN and then he would need to transfer to a new one when they move up North. It was all a disaster waiting to happen and San didn't know if he could do it with everything else in the way.

"And you have Wooyoung, so I think you will be alright. He's a pretty great guy if you can't remember. You did marry him for a reason," Yunho reminded with a smile, full confidence in his friend and his abilities.

And San did have Wooyoung. He had his heart and his full trust, he had him until the end and he was confident about that. Wooyoung would be happy, surprised but happy, and he would make everything much better than it was. In a perfect world, San knew he would be ecstatic about the prospect of having another baby, but he was in panic mode at the moment, typical. When Wooyoung is told, he would remind San how exciting this was supposed to be even when in the midst of all of this stress and how awesome they were going to be, "He's getting quite the surprise when he gets home." 

"Will you take a test before he comes home?" Mingi asked. 

San mentally groaned because he indeed had to wait a few days until Wooyoung came home and he had a few days to let this idea take over his mind, body, and soul. He couldn't mention it over the phone or Wooyoung would for sure to come home to make sure. He would get a definite answer only when Wooyoung knew his intentions and they went through the process together, "I'll have to wait so he knows about it and then we can do a test together. But I want to do it now." 

"He'll be so upset if you take a test without him," Yunho spoke up as though San didn't know that. Wooyoung would be devastated, "So you're making a good choice by waiting."

"Shut up," San frowned, "I know, but waiting is so hard when there's a baby to think about," he didn't even know if he was really pregnant but his mind had already accepted that as fact. Unconsciously, his hand drifted to rest on his lower belly where there was nothing. But there wasn't nothing, there was a baby.

"It is, but they're not going anywhere. They can wait."

Mingi couldn't say much more before he had to change to a smile as his daughter ran into the room again with a toy in her hand, begging for both of her parents to buy her the same one. Dongju and Dongmyung were close to follow as they entered the room, Dongju promptly jumping into San's recliner to sit with him. He cuddled into San's chest made sure his arms were wrapped around him. San cuddled back but less enthusiastically as his mind was focused on the fact that there was another baby right under where Dongju's feet were. He wasn't entertaining the idea that stress was the reason he was feeling this way anymore because it was so obvious. He had a few days to process this before he had to tell Wooyoung. A few days to agonize over it alone before his husband was returning, and he wanted him home now more than ever before. 

"Button, what do you think about having another brother or sister?" San asked, placing a kiss right behind his ear since his head was turned away. Asking his son what he thought about his potential sibling was a factor in how stressed San was going to be about adding a new baby to their family. 

Dongju turned to look at San, "Will they look like Dongjuie?" 

It was a good question but San had no answer for him, "Maybe, we'll have to see," that was the best answer he could give him, but there was one of two parents this next baby could look like. There was a 50% chance that they would indeed look like Dongju. 

But Dongju smiled and cuddled into his mother's neck, "Yay!" he cheered, childlike bliss so innocent. It made San smile though and indeed he felt as though things were going to be easier with his sons so willing to accept change. He wasn't naive, he knew what was coming, but he felt the tiniest bit better and he was going to take that. 

\--------

The moment Wooyoung walked through the door with his proud and boisterous self, the relief San felt was exponential, soon replaced with a grimace as his sons started yelling greetings to their returned father. He already had a minor headache from just living and breathing and now that there were loud noises from his sons and his husband, it was starting to get worse. The twins were loud, but Wooyoung was even louder and with the loud they were making he was making even more loud to compete. San wanted it to stop but still, he couldn't because his family was so happy and it was nice to see them so excited to see each other again.

"Hello, baby boys! I missed you so much!" Wooyoung yelled as he engulfed both boys in one big, bear hug. His face scrunched up in joy as his sons squeezed tight around his neck, "I never stopped thinking about you. And because of that it was hard to do my job."

Dongju dramatically gasped as he made eye contact with his father, and San couldn't help but notice how much they looked alike in this moment. Like Wooyoung was looking into a mirror, "You have to work hard, Papa!" Dongmyung gasped as well, rubbing his nose into his father's neck in affection, gaining it back with a kiss on the top of the head.

"Oh don't worry kiddos, I worked very hard," Wooyoung reassured, standing up with both boys in his arms. He made eye contact with San who had been standing, patiently waiting to greet his husband from a distance. San would have run up to Wooyoung just as his sons had, but he was still nervous about telling Wooyoung. This was a big step and he would have to casually bring up the fact that he was pregnant and that was making his stomach turn. Or maybe that was just the baby? "So I could come home to all my boys," Wooyoung stepped right in front of San and San smiled, so incredibly glad that Wooyoung was home, heart singing. With two young children in his arms, it was up to San to lean forward and let their lips meet and he did exactly that, reveling for a second before pulling away with a stupidly endeared smile. He didn't want to subject his sons to anything more passionate and involved than that, "I missed them all very much."

"We missed you, too," San affirmed with a dopey smile, overcome with happiness that he was no longer alone in the house. His previous anxiety was no more as he enjoyed the moment with his husband in front of him and his sons happily smiling at the return of their father. They were all together again and that was all he could ask for.

"I bet you did," Wooyoung spoke as he set his sons down on the ground. It was Dongmyung who encouraged Dongju to follow him to their toy basket in the front room where they would play with their trucks and dinosaurs. Their previous excitement was diminished and replaced with the urge to play, attention span unimpressive, "Kids are ruthless, Sannie," Wooyoung pouted, watching as Dongju and Dongmyung ran off to grab whatever they could get their hands on.

"They're little, and they really did miss you," San repaired with a long kiss on Wooyoung's perfect lips, reveling in his husband's touch that he had craved for days, "Kept asking for you every day and wondering when you would come home. Now that you're here they don't need to worry about you as much," Wooyoung still looked put out and San knew what would heal his pout, "Will a kiss make it better?" he questioned, reaching for the kind of kiss he had been dreaming about and Wooyoung delivered, having terribly missed it too. 

Eventually, they had to pull apart as Dongmyung came up to San and handed him a truck while he handed Wooyoung a doll, asking them to play with them before running back to the toy box. It seemed he had forgotten what he had asked his parents to do and was now playing with Dongju again, leaving his parents with their toys, "I guess that did make me feel a little better," Wooyoung smiled, eyes squished and mouth wide in such a heartwarming smile that had San stepping as close as he could and fitting into his chest, melting in his arm as the shorter wrapped them around him. Wooyoung continued with a new fervor, moving onto better things that he thought were noteworthy.

"So I have to tell you about what I did while I was gone, besides working," Wooyoung adopted this look in his eyes, glimmers of excitement as he grabbed San's arm and gently guided him to the couch to sit, setting their toys aside. He had a lot to say, "Now I know we said we were going to look at houses together and we were going to wait, but I couldn't help myself between training sessions and I took a look around the neighborhoods that were close to the restaurant and relatively close to a school that the boys could go to when it's time, and let me tell you Sannie, Seoul is gorgeous and the neighborhoods are surprisingly gorgeous as well. Very clean, very safe, very family-friendly. Lots of kids running around. And where the restaurant is located, it's so close to the Ilsan border and I can't tell you how excited I am to live so close to my parent's house again. I can see my brothers more and my mom and dad, even my grandparents! I took a visit with them as well since I couldn't not go and see them and it was short but so refreshing. It was something I needed." 

"You saw your family?" San asked with a smile so blinding that Wooyoung had to smile back. They hadn't seen Wooyoung's side of the family in a very long time, since last Christmas, and his visit must have been before he took the train all the way back to Gyeongsan. San hadn't heard about it until now and Wooyoung never was the best texter. He much preferred calls over text.

"I did!" Wooyoung chirped, adjusting himself in his seat so he was sitting upright in front of his husband, "My grandparents even made it out and they were telling me how much they missed us all," the twins were still in the room, very close and in earshot. Wooyoung turned to his sons and caught their attention, "Boys! I saw Grandma and Grandpa Jung this week."

Just like the dramatic gasper he is, Dongju did so again with a deep breath from his little chest, "Papa! Did they say hello to Dongjuie and Dongmyungie?" he was on his feet, running towards Wooyoung with enthusiasm, Dongmyung staying where he was.

"They did! They told me to tell you that they love you very much and they are excited to see you every day," it was going to be a nice change and San was excited to see his extended family as well.

"We're not gonna see Granny and Grandpa anymore?" Dongmyung asked with a frown, "Will they miss us?"

It was San's turn to frown, "They will. They really will. So don't be sad, Dimples," he assured with a smile. Dongmyung seemed okay now, but San wasn't buying his own smile. San grew up around his grandparents more than his parents. His mother and father didn't have a lot of money growing up and so they had to work a lot, and this left San with his grandmother and grandfather more often than not. He was very close with them and the idea of having them so far away was starting to hurt his heart. He didn't like the idea, but he would need to have a change of heart because change was coming whether he liked it or not, "They can always visit, or we can visit them."

Satisfied with that answer, Dongju nodded and grabbed the toys his parents had set aside and took them back to where Dongmyung was, continuing to play.

Wooyoung spoke up again, "They're so excited to see all the babies. They were even asking if we were going to have more grandchildren, but I told them we were probably done. Two is a good number I think and from what you've said you agree,” his smile was so innocent and unknowing, and how San wished this wasn’t so hard to bring up.

It hadn't been bothering him before but it was now. He had to tell Wooyoung that he was pregnant, or at least thought he was because this was going on long enough. He was getting anxious very fast and he had no explanation for it, and he had to say something before Wooyoung started talking again. He did like to talk and if San let him he could find something to say all day, "I have to tell you something," San piped up as Wooyoung opened his mouth to say more. It was probably more about his grandparents but what San had to say was more important in the moment.

Wooyoung looked surprised but nodded and listened with a large smile, happy to hear from his husband, "Go ahead, I'd love to hear it," he liked to listen as much as he liked to talk.

San wasn't so sure if he was going to after hearing it, but he would need to say it, "When Mingi and Yunho came over, I wasn't feeling my best and after relaying every detail to our friends, they pointed something out that I hadn't really thought of before," Wooyoung looked both worried and confused at the same time, which San found pretty impressive and also heartwarming, “It’s not bad unless you think it’s bad and then it will be bad, but in general, it technically isn’t a bad thing,” he was rambling and it was his stalling technique, afraid of a negative response. He just had to say it, “I’m almost, maybe 80% sure that I'm pregnant, but I haven't taken a test because I didn't want to do that with you gone because it felt wrong to do so but it was so hard to wait that long and I almost went out to buy one myself but then I couldn’t take the boys with me because they would see and get curious and ask me questions and I wouldn’t be able to lie to them. I wanted to wait to do it with you so we could tell them together and I really hope you’ll support me with that."

Wooyoung kept quiet, eyes wide as he processed what his husband had just told him, filtering out the words that he didn’t need to think about because San’s anxiety could get bad especially if he thought he had done wrong. He didn't look upset but he didn't look happy. His expression was blank and that scared San, "I want to know what you're thinking. Don't leave me in the dark,” he was twiddling his thumbs, finding something to focus on as he waited for Wooyoung to speak. His sons were a few feet away and were completely oblivious, and San wanted to keep it that way.

“Are you sure?” Wooyoung asked incredulously, expression still blank but was growing more interested as he considered the outcome and what that meant for their family.

"I mean I'm not sure sure, but it is very probable," he looked over to his sons who were playing, crashing their trucks into the oversized lego blocks they had lined up. The thought of giving them another brother or a sister didn't sound bad, but it was a lot to think about when they had so much going on. They would probably need to look into a bigger house if they were going to have three kids and the two of them, “I know it’s not something we planned for, but are you okay with that?"

Wooyoung didn't take long to answer and his answer was positive, much to San’s surprise, "Why wouldn't I be? Another baby, that’s pretty awesome!" Wooyoung scooted closer to San on the couch and had his hand on San’s thigh, rubbing his thumb into his soft skin as a form of comfort and assurance. He could see how insecure and doubtful San was feeling and he could understand but this was no crisis.

“But we have so much going on and it will be so hard to do anything with all the moving and the job changes," San reminded, wondering how Wooyoung was missing the point, “It’s a lot for right now, and I’m not sure what we’re going to do,” he hadn’t noticed it, but his hand rested on his lower belly where his unborn child was resting. It felt like forever ago that he had done the same with the twins when they were kicking and squirming like crazy. This was going to be a whole new experience and possibly easier since he was only having one baby this time.

"Well, I think the first thing we do is take a test to see if you really are pregnant, and then we can go from there. It was like how we were when we found out you were pregnant for the first time. This time is no different," Wooyoung assured, hand going to rest on San's waist, hand slowly sliding to rest on his stomach next to San’s, thumb rubbing into his soft middle. San raised an eyebrow and Wooyoung backtracked, "I take that back, we planned to have the twins and this one is a bit of a surprise, but still our baby none the less."

"Our baby," San repeated with a smile. He loved it when Wooyoung said that, made him feel oddly giddy and happy, "I guess we should go get a test then. Leave in ten minutes?" San moved until he was basically in Wooyoung’s lap, wanting to be as close to the slightly younger as possible.

"I just got home!" Wooyoung opposed but both knew he was joking. He liked going out, he was an extrovert if anyone had ever seen one. San rolled his eyes and was ready to go now, had been ready to go for days, "What do patient people receive?" he asked for maybe the billionth time in their relationship. But San wasn't having it this time because this was too important.

“Absolutely nothing if they need a direct answer after already waiting for four days. I have been patient, now is the time to go," San stated, hopping up from the couch to head out, making sure to put all his weight on Wooyoung just to make him suffer. Wooyoung only delivered a small groan much to San’s disappointment, "I can go by myself or you can go with me. Your choice," he spoke as he headed towards the front door where his shoes and keys were to their one car. He would prefer to go with Wooyoung but if he was going to be stubborn then he wasn’t going to deal with it and go alone.

But this opportunity was not something Wooyoung would miss for the world, ”I'm going! Of course I am!" Wooyoung shouted, standing himself up swiftly before turning to his sons who were now interested in what their parents were doing, "Get your shoes and jackets on boys, we're taking a trip to the supermarket.”

"Can we get candy?!" Dongju shouted in excitement, scrambling towards the front door. Dongmyung joined in with the same idea, eyes wide with hope, "Please, please, please! I want candy!” 

"Of course we can, Button," San agreed with a pleased smile, genuinely happy. His suspicions were about to be confirmed and he was sure they were going to be alright with Wooyoung's love and support, and especially his excitement for having this baby. San had been so nervous before, but now he had no worries, whether or not he was pregnant. He felt silly for feeling so nervous before and not believing in his knowledge of Wooyoung as a person. Wooyoung was the best and he knew that.

It had been a quick trip, in and out since they knew exactly what they were getting and knew exactly where everything was. The twins had made it a little harder since they suddenly decided they wanted a different candy from the ones they usually chose, but in the end, San and Wooyoung gently convinced them that they would only like the candy they usually chose, which was correct. They had once done this before and it had gone horribly. So going the safe route, they chose their favorites and happily carried them to the cashier. The family bought their items and left to go home. Wooyoung drove a maximum of five over the speed limit, the need to get an answer driving his enthusiasm to get home. He needed that result for his most burning question.

San and Wooyoung had set their sons in the front room to watch a movie, promising that they would join them in ten minutes. Dongju and Dongmyung had been reluctant to let them leave but after the opening of their movie, they lost interest and were then focused on their movie. Wooyoung and San didn't mention the test, wouldn't mention it until much later if it did turn out positive, possibly after a few months. The idea of telling their sons that they were going to have a sibling was just as exciting as finding out that they were having another baby. This time it wouldn't be them two alone, it would be the four of them going through this together, and who knows? Maybe San will have twins again.

But first, they had to find out if he actually was pregnant, "Are you ready?" San asked as he opened the box holding the pregnancy test. Simple, one he had taken before when he had been trying for the twins. He nearly had the results in his hands and he was weirdly giddy, giddier than he had been when he got that first positive with Dongju and Dongmyung.

"I am more than ready," Wooyoung smiled as he sat himself on the edge of the bathtub. He was wearing a goofy smile but was also toning it down for his own sake. If the test did turn out negative, he was telling himself not to be upset because then he was hoping for something that wasn't there. He was a hopeless romantic and sometimes it got in the way with some things, especially when it came to something like this. It had been torture when they took tests for the twins, feeling hurt every time the result led to nothing, "I'm ready for whatever comes of this. I promise.”

"You promised," holding accountability towards his husband, leaving out the part where he shouldn't be upset if the test comes out positive. He was so sure he was pregnant though and he knew Wooyoung knew it too, but there was always that small percentage and he could just be stressed, "I'll go ahead then," San smiled, starting to take the test with hope in his heart. Wooyoung hummed with a little wiggle of his body, excitement getting to his core.

Once finished, San set the test on the sink counter. The ominous plink of plastic sent a flash of anxiety through San's heart. He wasn't sure if the anxiety was from the idea of being pregnant, or the idea that he wasn't pregnant. Wooyoung was so excited and having another baby would be fun, but it would be so much hard work. Attempting to calm his heart, San took his spot next to Wooyoung on the edge of the bathtub, hand immediately threading through Wooyoung's. Both were staring straight ahead at the test in comfortable silence, not really sure what to say anyway. They had so much to think about and speaking about it now when they didn't even have a direct answer was a bit difficult and useless. They would wait a little longer and then truly speak about it, in-depth and in detail.

The timer set on Wooyoung's phone sounded and he was quick to turn it off, hopping up and standing in place, too nervous to take a look at the test, San's hand still in his.

San felt the same way but someone had to take a look at the test so they could stop torturing themselves, "Let's look together," he suggested, squeezing his hand and lifting himself up, leaning into Wooyoung's shoulder to guide him, "It's not so scary when you do something with someone else," he turned his head and placed a kiss on his husband's shoulder, enjoying having him so close once again, "Let's look."

Wooyoung nodded and the two of them stepped forward together, halting when they reached the sink and the test was right under their noses. It was turned upside down so the results weren't immediately visible. It was San who reached out a tentative hand and grabbed the test, then turning it so he could see the small window where the results would be and to his relief, there was a small plus side.

"I'm pregnant," San almost whispered, but in the quiet of the bathroom, it was deafeningly loud. Add in Wooyoung's yelp of glee, it was silent in comparison.

"You're pregnant!" Wooyoung yelled, hands immediately going to wrap around San's waist so he could turn him towards his chest. San was caught off guard but didn't have much time to think as Wooyoung crashed their lips together, nothing but pure elation and joy flowing through. San kissed back, feeling that same happiness in his chest and in his lower belly, butterflies if he's ever felt them before. Wooyoung pulled away, widest smile San has ever seen on his face before, "We're having another baby."

"We are," San smiled back in confirmation, the sentence sounding so weird coming out of his mouth. He hadn't thought he would be saying that again, yet here he was.

There was a moment where the two just stared at each other, smiles blinding and expressions elated. This was the perfect moment and then they kissed once more, full understanding flowing to the other through simple touch. They were going to be alright.

"I hope it's a girl this time," Wooyoung mentioned off-handedly when they parted, giving San some space but still clinging to him. San couldn't help but giggle since he was thinking the same thing. Boys were lovely but a girl would be a nice change and a whole new experience.

"Me, too," a girl would be the perfect addition to their family.

————

"Where will we put Christmas tree?" Dongmyung asked loudly, sounding worried as though it was an impossible feat to conquer. He knew where they always put the tree in the apartment having spent four Christmases there but in the new house they had bought, they would need to find the perfect place to prop their tree up. The change was a little unsettling, just like the moving had been, but he had adjusted so well and San and Wooyoung were proud of him. He had his moments, but they were easily consolable and he wasn't upset anymore. Finding a home for their tree would be easy.

"I think the front room, don't you think so?" Wooyoung offered as he hauled the freshly cut tree into the house from their car parked in the attached garage. Dongmyung sighed in relief and was back to admiring the Christmas lights that were hanging on the banister framing their stairs. Both Dongju and Dongmyung had been very excited when they found out their house had stairs and had proceeded to run up and down them. They were soon tired and had needed to sit on the living room floor with San and Wooyoung comforting them until they were ready to run around again.

Carrying the tree in through the door, Wooyoung got stuck in the doorway with the width of the branches being so wide even while tied up and he struggled, trying his hardest to push through. Watching him struggle so wordlessly, San thought it was best to step in.

"Let me help," he spoke up from inside the house, placing his hands on one side of the tree, smooshing some of the branches down so it would be easier to fit through the threshold. He was being very careful, not wanting the branches to snap and was satisfied to see that his attempts were working. He and Wooyoung had a high chance of getting this tree through in no time, but Wooyoung had other thoughts and intentions.

While San wasn't doing much at all, Wooyoung was stubborn and didn't appreciate his husband expelling energy on something like this, especially when there was the possibility that he could get hurt in the process, "No no no, no way. The only thing I need you to do is relax and sit down, maybe start getting out some of the ornaments, or the lights. Maybe the stockings. Something light.”

San frowned and rolled his eyes, Wooyoung was being ridiculous. He had a point since San was almost five months pregnant with their daughter (when they found that out Wooyoung had been jumping off the walls and ceiling in excitement and San had been no better, but he had to be calmer since he was on the examination table and under careful watch getting the ultrasound) and he was prohibited from overexerting himself, but what he had been doing was not very demanding and Wooyoung had needed the help, "You know I’m as capable as you are when it comes to this so don't treat me like a baby. I'm only pregnant," he reminded as a hand strayed to his round belly. It was small, much smaller than it had been at five months with twins, but there was still a bump. Nice and neat, "I don't think you were this bad with the twins."

Wooyoung shrugged and pulled the tree further through the door, “I don't know, maybe I'm just so in love with you that I want you to rest and have the most peaceful pregnancy ever. And that does not involve hauling a tree into the house.”

“Peaceful? I don't know if that's possible with two of the rowdiest boys in the world in this house with us," his point was proven as Dongmyung hopped up to him, nose poking into his mother's small bump with vigorous movements. San giggled and had to steady him with a hand on the head and a laugh, "And what can I do for you, Dimples?"

"When will presents be under the tree?" he asked, eyes wide in curiosity. It was only December 1st and the tree wasn’t even put up yet. Presents weren't going under the tree until at least the 20th. If any sooner, the boys would get antsy and try to open them early or tear holes in the packages. It had happened before.

"Not for a while baby, a few weeks at most. Nineteen days, okay?”

Dongmyung frowned and nodded, "You're right, it's not Christmas yet. We have to be patient," San almost laughed at how grown up his son sounded, and nearly rolled his eyes at his next sentence, "Because blessings!"

"Because blessings," San confirmed as he started to waddle towards the Christmas decorations. He wasn’t waddling because of the pregnancy but more because it was hard to do so when your son was clinging to your legs. San had to maneuver himself carefully so he nor his son were knocked over on the way, "Do you want to get started on untangling the Christmas lights with me?" he asked, moving to sit down on the ground now that Dongmyung had detached himself. Sitting down on the ground was a lot easier this far along with one baby compared to two. He felt so free still and not a prisoner in his own body.

"Yes! Button, come back!" Dongmyung yelled his brother over who was staring in wonder at the flashing Christmas lights strung on the banister. He was quick to prance to where they were with excitement evident, "Lights!"

San smiled at his sons who were gathered around him and watched as they helped him untangle the lights. San then watched as Wooyoung walked into the sitting room with the tree thrown over his shoulder and his own goofy smile on his face, proud of himself, "Ready to decorate the tree?" he asked loudly. This was the fun part and the part that really brought them together. They had many ornaments to hang up as a family.

The rest of the night was spent with Wooyoung wrapping the tree in lights and San handing each ornament to his sons and husband to hang. He thought about how next year they were going to have an ornament hanging up for their daughter. A "Baby's First Christmas" type of deal and San was already imagining the kind of ornament he could get her. A glass bassinet or a bear to fit with Dongju and Dongmyung’s glass snowmen. From where San sat, he could see his son's "Baby's First Christmas" ornaments and they had so many memories tied to those. The twins had been newborns and couldn't hang their own ornaments up and so it had been up to San and Wooyoung to do it. His sons’ Christmas pajamas had been so big on their small bodies back then, footies far too long and hanging off their small feet. Now here they were, now four years later, in their new Christmas pajamas and hanging baubles on the tree. They had grown up so fast.

"What does Mama and Papa want for Christmas?" Dongmyung asked, apparently planning to get his parents gifts for the year. He hadn’t done so previous years since he was so small, but Wooyoung laughed since he had asked his son’s that same question a week ago to put on their lists to Santa.

"Can you get me a car for Christmas?" Wooyoung asked jokingly, not expecting his son to agree. They only had the one car, which was fine, but having two cars was a luxury. They were planning on investing in a car early in the next year, a late Christmas present if you will. One for San and one for Wooyoung.

"What color?" Dongmyung asked with confidence.

Wooyoung grew confused at his son’s tone and answered, “Red, since that’s my favorite color,” he hadn't expected his son to get up and go grab a red truck from his toy basket and hand it to his father.

”Merry Christmas!" Dongmyung smiled cheekily and San couldn't help but laugh.

“Thank you so much, Dimples,” Wooyoung laughed, making sure to hug his son and give him kisses on the forehead.

“What does Mama want?” Dongju asked next, curious and wanting to be as involved as his brother.

San didn’t have to think long, ”I think I just want lots of kisses from all of my boys, do you think I can get that?" he asked, "Is it too much?" it was of course a joke but feigning guilt and naivety was a good way to get kisses right away. Especially from his children. It was an easy gift, but that was all he wanted when he didn’t need or want anything else.

"That's easy!" Dongju shouted, hopping over to his mother to kiss San's cheek, then his nose, then his lips, "Lots of more kisses on Christmas, okay?"

San giggled, "Sounds perfect, Button. Thank you so much. But can I get even more kisses before Christmas? I'd like that, too,” waiting until Christmas Day was a long time before receiving more kisses from his children. San didn’t think he could survive until then.

"I can do that!" Dongmyung joined in, making sure to give San more kisses than Dongju had. There was no competition to win, but they made it as though there was. Who could love Mama more? An unspoken yet agreed upon rivalry that they had competed in for years.

And of course, Wooyoung had to join in, "Me three! I can give Mama kisses too!" he nearly ran over and dropped to his knees as he grabbed San by both sides of the head and started kissing everywhere he could reach, by far the most kisses out of everyone. He ended the show of affection by ducking his head and placing three kisses right on top of his bump, "I can spare some for this little lady too since I can't get her anything for Christmas just yet. Sound like a deal?" he rubbed his hand over the bump, feeling the slight movement under his palm from her active feet. She was moving pretty early, much earlier than the twins had moved, and it was amazing. San's hand joined his, moving it to where the most movement was concentrated. She had hiccups.

"I think she needs more kisses to make her feel better. She hates it when she gets hiccups," it was a fact. He hadn't felt the twins get hiccups until much later, but he guessed every pregnancy was different. Wooyoung made sure to place kisses right above where he felt the hiccups and San thought it was the sweetest thing. He felt so silly for thinking that having another baby was going to be a problem. Everything was perfect and he had no qualms about anything. He was getting a daughter soon to join his two boys and he was going to have his whole family completed. Thinking about it now, it hadn't felt complete until he found out he was having a daughter. He had been so stupid.

The family reveled in the Christmas spirit and sang Christmas songs together, enjoying how family came together so easily and effortlessly made each other smile and laugh. Everything was perfect with the new job, the new house, and a new baby. Things were going so well, and San didn't think he could have this without Wooyoung, Dongju, or Dongmyung. He was happy, and that was perfect.

**Author's Note:**

> This is for the love of my life and I really hope you like this <3 I hope it was everything you hoped for, lovey.  
> Merry Christmas!


End file.
